Mile 197 campsite to Whitewater Preserve (mile 218)
Word on the street says there’s a swarm of Africanized honey bees at mile 202. Or perhaps they are wasps. Or, maybe just regular wild bees. Regardless, folks are claiming that they’ll chase you down the trail and sting the ever-loving hell out of you. So that’s something to look forward to.
Allegedly, the solution to the bee problem is to cover yourself in white, thus disguising oneself as a bee keeper. The theory goes that this will, allegedly, frighten the bees – who are apparently afraid of their keepers – and then the bees won’t sting you. At least this is what Magnet told us in Idyllwild right before he left a bunch of white garbage bags on the hiker table and hiked out. And while I’m pretty sure this idea is logically unsound, we really didn’t have any better ideas, and so Keith and I each took a garbage bag on our way out of town yesterday.
The alleged bee swarm is just five miles into our day. And so it comes to pass that Keith and I are standing in the blazing sun buttoning up our shirts to the neck, donning our cold weather gloves, and bug nets. And to cover our legs? The aforementioned white garbage bags. Suitably suited and ready to charge into the bee gauntlet Keith pulls his phone from his pocket, turns up the volume and hits play on Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.” Which, is of course the only appropriate song for this situation.
As Freddie Mercury’s voice fills the empty hillside we take off running. Packs bouncing on our backs, white garbage bags slipping off our butts turning our run into more of a waddle. Sweat is pouring down my legs soaking my shorts and causing instant chaffe, and in this moment I’m stuck by the absurdity of the whole thing and start to laugh historically, behind me I can hear Keith cracking up. Rather unfortunately this slows or awkward progression even further and it takes us the entire song played through twice until we clear the bee zone and can finally collapse into a small ribbon of shade, frantically pulling off our rediculous outfits. The air kisses our bodies, feeling mercifully cool even though the temperature is well into the 80’s. For a long time we cannot stop laughing. And you know what? We never even saw a single bee. But the view was spectacular, so we have that going for us, which is nice.
Kara, I’m sitting in a Safeway parking lot procrastinating grocery shopping one last time, laughing my ass off. The pictures… 😂. This is great. Thanks for sharing little tidbits of the good, bad, and utterly absurd.
Thanks for reading, Rebecca! Always glad to help another procrastinator.
Africanized Bees have been reported in Southern California. Their aggressiveness is nest defensive behavior. They do not hate or fear people. They attack anything that disturbs their nest, which can be in a hole in the ground. Covering up in white is irrelevant. Just cover up all exposed flesh with anything you have handy. The most important thing to remember is never swat or smash them, just run. If you crush one, it releases chemicals that mark you as an enemy and they will follow for long distances. Head nets are good because all bees have an instinct to attack eyes. They know eyes are the weakest part of an attacking animal.
Does this Franky Mercury sound as good as Freddie? 😉
Haha 🤦♂️ that’s what I get for writing offline and not proofing.