PNT Day 37 – She’s so Heavy
Mile 622.7 to mile 638.2
Our ride drops us where the pavement ends and we get to walking. I feel heavy under eight days of food, like a giant thumb is pressing me into the earth. I pretend for a while that I am an astronaut on a strange world where the gravity is heavier than that of Earth’s and that I must labor on under the weight of my enormous pack to deliver goods to some far-flung colony.
Today we are entering the Pasayten Wilderness, the most remote and isolated part of the PNT. It will take Starman and I more than a week to cover the terrain between here and Ross Lake and until we do we will be well and truly alone.
PNT Day 38 – Easy Day
Mile 638.2 to mile 651.2
We’re aiming for an old cabin built during the tungsten mining era which is still standing and allows for camping inside. Which is perfect for three reasons. First, it’s only 13 miles into our day. Second, Starman slept terribly last night and is feeling our big day yesterday and is looking for a short day. And third, because it’s supposed to rain this afternoon/evening and I would rather be inside for that. I’m psyched. I love a lazy day on trail and will take any opportunity not to have to camp in the rain.
The trail undulates beneath my feet in a series of short, rolling climbs before rounding a corner and dropping us into a miles-long burn scar. Skeletal, lifeless trees with a riot of green understory promising new life. The sky, once a speckled white and blue is now a deep, angry purple. Then, the thunder starts followed shortly by the hail. By now we are less than three miles from the cabin and the forest has returned to it’s normal healthy self. However, both Starman and I are soaked from the building rain.
We arrive at the cabin during a break in the rain and use the brief spot of sun to dry our clothes and sweep the tiny, dilapidated cabin of dust. We spend the rest of the afternoon in companionable silence, listening to the rain fall on the roof of the old cabin.
PNT Day 39 – Tunnel Vision
Mile 651.2 to mile 671.5
Cathedral Peak dominates the ridgeline, commanding attention. I pull my eyes from their usual view of my feet in order to pay it an audience. On the PNT it’s easy to fall into tunnel vision, climbing and descending in the trees as we do so often. But the Pasayten Wilderness has provided many views already and I can feel my spirits lifting. While forests certainly contain their own type of beauty, I must admit that I have found myself more than a little bored by their relative sameness. I joke without kidding that I backpack for the views. And while I find joy in so many more aspects of these adventures I cannot deny that I am drawn to these wild places specifically for their beauty. For the views. For the high up places that allow me to see and feel small in return.
PNT Day 40 – Late Risers
Mile 671.5 to mile 691.5
Starman and I stay in camp late this morning, putzing around over nothing in particular and even watching a little TV. Our dawdling will bite us in the ass later tonight, though we don’t know it yet.
The day starts with a climb up to Bunker Hill through a bright green forest surrounded by a crown of jagged mountains. Then suddenly the forest disappears as does the trail as we enter another burn area. Our pace slows as we are forced to high step over hundreds of blow-downs.
We eventually reach the Pasayten River, racing against the setting sun and losing. When I trip, almost sending myself sprawling into the dirt we decide it’s time for headlamps and make the rest of our way to camp in the dark.
We set up camp on the porch of the Pasayten Wilderness airstrip porch, finally eating dinner at nearly 11pm and promising to learn our lesson and be up earlier tomorrow.
PNT Day 41 – 450 blow-downs
Mile 691.5 to mile 717.6 via the unofficial Woody Pass alternate
Somehow, dear reader, somehow I once again find myself standing chest-deep in a forest of blow-downs. Around me are the skeletal arms of trees both stretched skyward and strewn about the ground; everything smells of smoke.
Starman and I decide to make a game of counting how many blow-downs we have to navigate our way over, under, and around. At first it’s fun and takes my mind away from the jungle gym of soot-stained wood, but as our count climbs into the hundreds the humor is lost somewhat. The trail winds in and out of existence, forcing us to stop frequently to look for it before we can once again move forward. We decide, some hours into our ordeal, to discourage anybody else from following our alternate as it’s clearly as bad or worse than the original trail, which also navigates a bad burn through this section.
Finally, fucking finally the trees around us begin to bloom with green needles and we are released from the clutches of the burn scar. The trail is still hard to find at times and there are still downed trees to climb over but the going is easier and our pace accelerates until eventually we reach the PCT and everything changes. The trail, once little more than a trampled path through the grass expands to a perfect 18″ wide track of smooth, packed dirt. The grades are gentle and even on the climbs allow for a smooth and natural gait. We see PCT hikers! These are the fast kids who are making their way to Canada in record time and for a minute I long to be one of them. Nostalgia floods my very bones with my time on the PCT and my mood soars for the five miles that these two trails overlap.
However, soon my love affair with the PCT is over and we branch off to return to the fickle mistress of the PNT. As soon as our trail diverges we are once again surrounded by dead standing trees, meaning our planned campground is a no-go and we are once again forced to walk into the fading light to find a place to camp. The climb is steep but mercifully short and the sky overhead burns orange with the last rays of sunset. With time we are eventually gifted a lumpy meadow where we can rest.
PNT Day 42 – Feeling It
Mile 717.6 to mile 735.3, Ross Lake
Some days just feel harder than others and today was one of those days. On paper, today was nothing special; 17 miles with 2,800 feet of gain and 5,000 feet of loss. And yet everything moved like molasses. Even now it’s hard to write about it because the day just dragged. I think in part because this has been our longest and in some ways most challenging and remote section of the trail so far and I’m really beginning to feel it. We had planned to do this section in eight days and were able to push hard and make it in seven. But that pushing came at the cost of effort and fatigue and that manifested in moving in slow motion today. But tomorrow we make it to the highway and then we’re going to treat ourselves to a double zero in the cute western town of Winthrop.
PNT Day 43 – Top Surgery
Mile 735.3, Ross Lake to mile 746.9, East Bank Trailhead then a hitch into Winthrop, WA
On days like today, as I peel every disgusting layer off my body I am immensely grateful for the fact that one of them is not a bra. People who wear them already know the agony, those who have never had to wear a one will never understand the pain. Of this, I am free. And I know it’s not #transdayofvisibility or whatever, but choosing top surgery is something I appreciate every day on trail and is one of the things I love most about my transness.